Those of you navigating here from the Toybox are no doubt chasing the BufBloPoFo. Welcome. You should know the homework assignment for today is for me to discuss the best gift I ever received.
Obviously, that has to be the gift of the BufBloPoFo from Mike. It is this challenge that brought me back to cybernetics. (I know what cybernetics really is, but it sounds like something internet-related, so I'm trying to change the meaning of the word. I'm pretty sure that isn't allowed, and that's what makes me so bad-ass. I am a vocabulary renegade. Chicks dig the grammar bad boys.) Okay, you know what? Mike didn't really give me anything, so screw this.
In the summers between years in college, I went back to live in the home-ville with my parents. I also hung out with my friends and drank heavily and frequently. I would often come home late at night, and in an effort not to disturb the sleeping parents by stumbling about, I would hang out in the living room, watching television and sobering up. If you remember the late 1990's, you might recognize that the late-night programming often centered around the information-based commercial. These info-mercials, as they are known, are one of my favorite forms of entertainment. I had no problem plopping down in front of the tube and watching any of a myriad of amazing products available for three easy payments. Occasionally, after a period of time, my mother would get out of bed and come investigate who was watching television in her living room at 3 o'clock in the morning. Without fail, I would be watching an info-mercial, and more frequently than you would imagine, it was the info-mercial for the Ronco Electric Food Dehydrator. I love Ron Popeil, and would happily sit and watch him peddle novelty dog crap, as long as he keeps asking me "Now how much would you pay?". Whenever any Ronco product was being info-mercialized, I would watch. And my mother frequently found me watching that particular program. So when my birthday came around, there was a big box, full of the Ronco Electric Food Dehydrator. The machine sucked. It took a long time, and nothing tasted particularly good. I don't even know where it is - it got lost in one of the several moves I have had in the last ten years. It is not the best gift I ever received, it is just the best back-story. Shit, what was the assignment for today?
One time I sold my watch to buy wife a hair comb, but she had cut her hair to buy me a watch chain. Oh wait, that wasn't me.
It is starting to seem that I either never get good gifts, or that I'm an ungrateful fuck. I vote for the latter.
Actually, I got a great gift in celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior last year. My girlfriend bought me a beer home-brewing kit, which I have already used and enjoyed. My friends seem to enjoy the product of the gift as well, and it has sparked a new hobby, inspired some new learning, and enabled one of my favorite addictions. This is the current reigning champion best gift. I am now a home brewer, and I like that. I have brewed three different kinds of beer, and I look forward to brewing a thousand more. If you are smart, you'll start being nice to me, and maybe you'll get invited over for a home brew or two.
Oh, and if you have any (non-twist off) bottles that you'd like to donate to the cause (new bottles cost 13 bucks a case at the brew supply store, and used bottles are just as good), your gift of bottles will be on the list most thoughtful all time.
1 comment:
Oh, Henry!
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