Fuck! I have ten minutes to blog!

Shit! I had a whirl-wind day which lead to this: my first blog post from outside the comforts of my bedroom. There's no time, I'll sum up. This morning, My good friend, who, for the sake of anonymity will henceforth be referred to as "The Kid" and I decided not to do our (new) daily workout - I'm a weight-loss god - in order to drive to Cortland, New York so that he could buy a car. You see, The Kid's dad is a car salesman, and had a line on a great deal on a car for The Kid, but in order to have some bargaining leverage, The Kid had to make it look like he wasn't desperate for the trade-in of his old ride, hence the presence of a second driver to roll the turd-mobile back to Buffalo. We left Western New York at about 8:30, figuring the two and a half hour drive down, some fuck around time at the dealership and the two and a half hour drive back would have us home around four, easy peasey.

So The Kid calls his dad/dealer around 10:15 as we're rolling into Syracuse, and is encouraged to stop and get his car washed and detail cleaned before trying to trade it in. The fine chap at Delta Sonic (once we found it) told us it would take about a half hour. An hour and fifteen minutes later, a gentleman came out of the wash bay and informed us that there was an issue with the vehicle. The Kid informed him that we didn't care, because we were on our way to get rid of the car anyway and to just bring it out, there, of course, was the rub. The turd wouldn't start.

We pushed the now dead turd out of the wash bay into the drying area and sat looking at it for about twenty minutes. The Kid got the idea to unhook the fuel injection line and spray some starter fluid in there. We are smart. After a fairly loud bang, the car still hadn't started. we did see some promise, however, which prompted us to disconnect the fuel injector again and spray lots more ether into the engine. The turd started like no turd has started before. We arrived in Cortland around 2:00, significantly behind schedule.

A beautiful car was there waiting for us, and after the dad/dealer went through some features, the turd made it through the trade-in test drive and a deal was struck, we waited for the paperwork to be drawn up. Many cigarettes were smoked. Once he was presented with the contracts and shit, The Kid started reading them (un-fucking-heard of). The fucking guy found some errors, and everything had to be re-drafted. More smoking. Upon second look, more fucking shit was wrong. More smoking. The papers were fixed, the check was written, the credit card was swiped. A phone call was made to the credit card company. The card was accepted. We went out to the car to leave, at which point the dad/dealer initiated the enrollment in OnStar, a twenty minute process.

At 4:00 we drove off the lot, and went to my parents' house, five miles away. When I'm that close, I stop in for a visit. At 4:30, we left my parents'. We got subs. I ordered a six inch with no cheese or mayonnaise. See the above discussion of my weight-loss goditude. We got on the road.

Rumors of the snow storm running from Buffalo to Syracuse were not exaggerated. We arrived in Buffalo at 8:30. So many cigarettes we sacrificed today. We drank two beers.

The Kid needed gas for his snow blower. My girlfriend and I decided to hang out at The Kid's house for the evening, but I had to go get the dog, who had been alone at my house for 13 hours. We hopped in my car to drive to my apartment and a gas station. At 28 degrees, my car overheated in under three minutes.

We added coolant. It didn't help. We added more coolant and some oil. I am not good at basic maintenance. My girlfriend drove down to the apartment, picked up me, The Kid and the dog. We returned to The Kid's house and I sat down. Then we smoked more cigarettes, I mixed myself a cocktail and realized I had ten minutes to post.

This kind of shit happens to me all of the time.